All Women's Talk

7 Trashy Cocktails so Bad They're Good ...

By Lyndsie

There's no shortage of chic, sophisticated cocktails, you know? The thing is, sometimes you don't really want to be sophisticated. Sometimes you want something down and dirty, something … dare I say it? A little trashy. If you're wondering what classifies as a trashy or tacky cocktail, let me put it this way: one of them is called The Lindsay Lohan. I highly recommend snapping a pic of the bartender's face when you ask for one of these (and don't forget to Instagram that ish).

1 The Flaming Dr. Pepper

The Flaming Dr. PepperThis might be slightly trashy, but a. it doesn't actually contain Dr. Pepper and b. it's also wicked awesome – if you can get a bartender to make it for you. If you're very brave (and you have a fire extinguisher handy), you can try it yourself. Rumor has it, the concoction does taste just like Dr. Pepper. Imagine that.

3/4 shot of amaretto almond liqueur
1/4 oz of 151 proof rum
1/2 glass of beer

Start with the amaretto and fill your shot glass 3/4 full. Top it off with just a little of the rum – you just want it nice and flammable. Carefully place the shot glass into a larger glass. Fill that glass up with beer, right level with your shot glass. Ignite and watch it burn! (Sorry.) Blow out the fire and pound that baby. Immediately post results.


2 Mountain Dew Me

Mountain Dew MeSo … this is trashy on several levels. Point the first, it does contain soda. Point the second, it is called the Mountain Dew Me. That belongs on a shirt from Spencer's. If you ever pounded Mountain Dew after Mountain Dew right after another tedious, tiring day of tenth grade, you know the buzz it gives you. This is exactly like that, but with alcohol. Also pineapple.

2 oz Midori
1 oz triple sec
4 oz pineapple juice
A splash of 7-Up

Grab your cocktail shaker, half fill it with ice, and add all the ingredients. Close it tight and give it a good shake, then strain it and sip – seriously, start with a sip.


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3 Boys Are Stupid

Boys Are StupidThat's mean. This is a Mean Girl drink. It's actually also really decadent and rich, so although it's slightly tacky, it's enjoyable after when you need a heady combination of chocolate and booze to feel better. Recommended for anyone who loves mudslides.

2 oz 151 rum
2 oz vodka
2 oz Bailey's Irish cream
2 oz Kahlua coffee liqueur

Pour all the ingredients into your favorite margarita glass and serve. You don't even need to stir it.


4 The Lindsay Lohan

The Lindsay LohanI told you. Yes, it is really a thing. It's a variation of a Redheaded Slut (sorry, I'm sorry, it's really a thing! Allegedly named after Anne of Green Gables, so it's doubly wtf). I think the trash level is pretty obvious, yes? But those ingredients though, jeezum.

1/2 oz Jagermeister
1/2 oz peach schnapps
1/2 Coke
1/2 oz cranberry juice

Toss everything in your cocktail shaker with plenty of ice. Shake, strain, and sip from the fountain of popular culture.


5 Irish Trash Can

Irish Trash CanNeed I say more? Given my Irish roots, I like this one though. I like this one because between the booze and the Red Bull, you don't really notice all that fruitiness. This will mess you up. Do not approach this lightly.

1/2 oz gin
1/2 oz light rum
1/2 oz vodka
1/2 oz peach schnapps
1/2 oz Blue Curacao liqueur
1/2 oz triple sec
1 can of Red Bull

Fill a glass with ice, throw in all the booze, and stir. Add in the entire can of Red Bull. Watch in delight as the Red Bull floats for a second, then sinks slowly to the bottom of the glass and turns the liquors green. Beautiful! Share Instagram photos and/or let everyone know you survived.


6 Pumpkin Spice Martini

Pumpkin Spice MartiniWhy is this trashy? Because it is basic as hell. However, it is also delicious. This is a struggle. I think I'm a little basic. This will appeal to anyone who lives for pumpkin spice lattes – and Oreos and cupcakes and doughnuts and ice cream.

1 1/2 oz of vanilla vodka
1 1/2 oz of Bailey's Irish Cream
1 1/2 oz of pumpkin liqueur
1 1/2 oz of ground cinnamon
1/2 oz of ground nutmeg

Fill your cocktail shaker with about a cup of ice, then add all the liquors and shake it up. Strain it into a martini glass, preferably chilled, and sprinkle with the spices for true authenticity. Enjoy Thanksgiving in your mouth.


7 Adios Motherf**ker

Adios Motherf**kerThis isn't just trashy because of the name, although that's a good start. This has been described as the millennial answer to Long Island iced tea. It has a list of ingredients that will have you blitzed out of your mind and standing on your head before your brain realizes how screwed you are. Never drink this without a sober, trustworthy friend who's good at capturing videos.

1/2 oz of vodka
1/2 oz of rum
1/2 oz of tequila
1/2 oz of gin
1/2 oz of Blue Curacao
2 oz of sweet and sour mix
2 oz of 7-Up

Grab a chilled glass, fill it with ice cubes, and add the liquors and the sweet and sour mix. Top it off with the soda, give it a gentle stir, and write your name on your hand before you drink up. Just in case.


Have you tried any of these? I think it's time to share horror stories. Worst cocktail, worst experience, and all the aftermath. Go!

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